Prince of the Beach
by psycho chibbi
Summary: When a sparkly prize catches a navigator's eyes, a sandcastle building we will go. However Sanji decides it's the perfect scenario to drive a certain Marimo up the freakin wall. Onesided SanjixZoro for comedic purposes. Or is it? *shifty eyes* ch 7 up
1. Deal with a demon

**Prince of the Beach**

_by: a psycho chibi named Wendy_

_Disclaimer:_ I don't own anything except a few issues that don't need to be elaborated on. _*shifty eyes*_

_Warnings:_ Lots of language, innuendo, bad jokes, and forced yaoi for comedic purposes... Or is it? _*shifty eyes*_

_Pairing:_ ridiculously one sided SanjixZoro ... Or is it? _*shifty eyes*_

_Summary:_ When a sparkly prize catches a navigator's eyes, a sandcastle building we all will go. However Sanji decides it's the perfect scenario to drive a certain Marimo up the freakin wall.

_Author Rant:_ I was writing this for a challenge that Lolly Dream had issued, but now I don't really care if I win. This is just too much fun. Haha!

Enjoy~

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Chapter 1

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"Sand castle contest?"

Nami nodded with a broad grin at her gathered nakama. "That's right! Apparently it's an annual tradition on this island. Teams of two or three work on building the best sand castle, and the host of the contest judges it. The host is this eccentric rich guy that has this weird sandcastle fetish." she added with a careless wave of her hand.

That had the rest of the crew staring.

"A... Sandcastle fetish...?" Usopp repeated slowly.

"That sounds gritty... Pfft.." Sanji was forced to cover his mouth to stifle a laugh.

"I don't get it." Luffy stated with a tilt of his head.

Rolling his eyes, Zoro focused on the conniving redhead. "Right, so why are you making us enter this stupid contest?"

The navigator was quick to hold up a poster that showed a chest filled with jewels. "Because first place gets this~!" she chirped gleefully.

"Oh wow! We get a cool poster?_!_" Luffy asked excitedly.

Robin had to lightly bite at her knuckles to stop her giggles as Nami promptly smacked their captain. It never ceased to amaze her how hilarious this crew really was.

"Not the poster, you idiot! We get what's on the poster!" Nami snapped, shaking her fist at the slow witted rubber boy.

Clutching at the large bump on his head, Luffy pouted. "Jewels? I can't eat jewels. Why can't the prize be meat?" he asked in all seriousness.

"Luffy, I would be able to buy enough meat with one of those jewels to feed you for a week." Sanji pointed out while patting down his pockets for a smoke.

The captain's jaw immediately dropped as his eyes became sparkly at the promise of meat. "No way... Yosh! We are gonna win that contest!" He would have immediately shot off Merry's deck for the beach if Nami hadn't grabbed his ear. It stretched a few feet before the hold drug Luffy back to the navigator with a snap. "Oooow... Nami... I thought we were going!"

"Not right this second. We need to form our teams, then register. Not to mention gather any tools we'll need." Nami explained in a firm, yet slow, tone.

As Sanji was in the midst of lighting a cigarette, a thought struck him. "Nami-san, what's the name of this island again?"

"Hm? It's Sanolo."

"Sanolo..." Sanji was silent for a moment before a bright grin suddenly formed on his face. "Nami-san! May I pick the teams? Please please please!" he pleaded with his hands waving wildly.

Zoro immediately snorted loudly. "Hn. This should be rich." he muttered with an unimpressed glare.

Feeling the same, Nami was about to say no when Robin spoke out. "What teams would you pick, Cook-san?"

Sanji was immediately beaming as he pointed to the pair of ladies. "Robin-chwan goes with Nami-swan." He moved across the deck to the sniper and slung an arm around his shoulders. "I go with Usopp, and Chopper goes with those two." he finished with a careless wave of his hand at the remaining members.

The moment he was finished, everyone was at a loss of what to say. "That... Actually sounds good." Nami said in astonishment.

The blonde grinned and tapped the ashes off his cigarette. "I'm glad you approve, dearest Nami-swan~! Come on, Usopp! I've got a bag full of worn out kitchen utensils I haven't had the heart to get rid of yet. Maybe we could use them for our castle." Before anyone could protest, Sanji was dragging the surprised sniper away to the galley.

"Wha? Sanji! Slow down!" Usopp yelped as he came close to tripping over his own feet.

Within seconds they were in the galley and Sanji was shutting the door behind them. "Heh.. This is perfect.." he chuckled to himself.

Now that they were hidden away in the galley, Usopp faced his new partner curiously. "Wow, Sanji... I didn't know you liked sandcastles so much."

A smirk was suddenly curling the cook's lips as he held a finger over them. "Shh..." He motioned for his comrade to come closer. When Usopp warily complied, he leaned in to whisper into his ear. "I think we're due for a decent prank war. Care to play along?"

Usopp's eyes grew wide, but soon an evil grin was plastered across his face. "Prank war, you say? I think I might be willing to participate."

Sanji mirrored the expression as he clapped his hands on his nakama's shoulders. "Yosh! Gather up everything you think might be useful and meet me back here. We'll start planning then. I trust you can be discreet."

"Ha! When it comes to pranks, I am the master. That's not me just bragging either." Usopp added with a wink.

"That's what I'm counting on. Go on. I've still got a bit of prep work to finish."

"Yosh! Haha! This is gonna be awesome!" Usopp nearly squealed with glee as he hurried out of the galley.

Sanji watched the sniper leave with a pleased smirk. "Excellent... I'll have that Marimo tearing out his hair and kick his ass at this contest." He took a drag from his cigarette and let it out with a content sigh. "Mmm... This is gonna be a good day."

"Maybe worth writing home about."

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-"WELCOME TO THE SANOLO ISLAND 56TH ANNUAL SANDCASTLE CONTEST!"-

"Iiieee!" Chopper yelped in alarm when the loud speakers crackled into life. "My ears..." he whimpered as he tried to block out the grating voice.

No one had the chance to check on the little doctor when a figure suddenly leapt atop the stage that was set up on the beach. -"Welcome! Welcome! One and all! I see we have some new faces this year, so I shall go over the rules for this year's contest!"-

"Damn.. This bastard's loud.." Sanji grunted as he stuck his fingers in his ears.

-"Rule #1: You must make a sandcastle! I don't care how you decorate it, as long as it's a castle~!"-

"Zoro...?"

Zoro glanced down to see Chopper shifting uneasily on the sand. "What is it, Chopper?"

Chopper hesitated for a moment before pointing at the man on the stage in front of them. "Why is that guy dressed up in a pink sandcastle costume..?"

"Because he's a twisted little perverted freak."

The little reindeer blinked for a moment. "... Oh..."

The walking pink sandcastle slapped a large sundial that was set up on the stage. -"Rule #2: The contest will last ten hours! When this sundial's shadow reaches this red mark, the contest is over! All work must stop when I give the signal! Anyone that doesn't will be disqualified!"-

"His head reminds me of a tomato." Luffy stated with a resolute nod.

"It is rather red and round.. That costume can't be comfortable." Robin commented on seeing how tight the inflated rubber suit was.

"Maybe he's a masochist in addition to being a sandcastle perv." Usopp offered, unable to look away from the bouncing pink castle.

"Eh, as long as the prize is legit, I don't care what he looks like." Nami stated while adjusting the shoulder straps to her red bikini top.

-"Rule #3: Anyone that has any devil's fruit powers are not allowed to use them during the first half of the contest! I will give a signal for when it will be allowed. Any fruit users caught using their powers during the first half will be disqualified!"-

That rule surprised the strawhats. "The hell... So there are other fruit users here?" Zoro hissed as he glanced around at the crowd they were in the midst of.

"There must be, or there wouldn't be need of such a rule." Sanji mused as he pulled his cigarettes out of the front pocket of the unbuttoned white shirt he was in.

The sandcastle man moved to the front of the stage and gave a huge grin. -"There will be a break period at the middle of the contest when a food cart will stop by each team's area! I will give you time updates throughout the contest, and I shall be overseeing that all of the rules are followed! As the host and judge, I will be judging each castle based on construction, creativity and size! So the bigger and flashier the better! Alright! That does it for the rules! Everyone go to your designated areas and await the start signal! Good luck~!"- he seemed to coo before skipping off the stage.

There was a silent pause as everyone attempted to process what they had just seen.

"Did he just skip away...?"

Luffy readily nodded. "Yes. Yes he did."

"Hey, anyone else notice Nami and Robin are the only two women on the entire beach?" Usopp asked as he glanced around at all of the rough looking men leaving for their team areas.

Sanji took a deep drag of his fresh smoke only to let it out in a depressed sigh. "I know.. I'm so disappointed... But! Seeing Nami-swan and Robin-chwan in their stunning swimsuits more than makes up for it!" he chirped, ogling the scantily clad women shamelessly.

"I've been listening to the other contestants." Robin stated just after an ear disappeared off of a passing man's shoulder. "From what I've gathered, these contests are known to get violent in the second half when the devil's fruit users are allowed to use their powers."

That had the navigator frowning. "Wait.. From this entire set up, it seems like the first half of the contest is building the castles, and the second half is protecting them..."

"What? Then why didn't the castle freak say something?_!_" Usopp yelped.

"Who cares?" Zoro eyed the competition and smirked wide. "That only means this stupid contest might be interesting after all."

With all of that revealed, Chopper looked to Sanji in concern. "Should I go with your team, Sanji? You and Usopp don't have devil's fruit powers."

Sanji was immediately grinning at the offer as he slung his arm over Usopp's bare shoulders. "Don't worry about us. Me and Usopp can handle whatever happens." He nudged the sniper and gave a sly wink. "Right, Usopp?"

Usopp was about to protest, but on seeing the wink he was reminded of their plan. A grin was soon on his face as he slapped his own arm around Sanji's shoulders. "That's right! Not only will we handle everything, but we're gonna win too! Hahahaha!"

"Besides, we've already registered. There's no team changes after you've been assigned a number." Sanji added and pointed to the numbered armband he was wearing.

"He's right. We better get to our areas so we can be ready for the start signal." Nami reminded them when she caught sight of the pink castle lurking. The way he seemed to be leering at everything made her uncomfortable, but she kept her mind focused on the prize.

Luffy clapped his hands together eagerly and grinned wide. "Yosh! Do your best, everyone! One of us will win!"

"Wow, Luffy, that actually sounded captainly!" Usopp applauded, very impressed.

"Of course!" Luffy folded his arms over his chest and nodded. "And after we win, Sanji will buy meat!"

A collective groan was heard before Zoro grabbed his idiot captain by the back of his black tank top. "Just promise not to eat the stupid sandcastle." he grunted while dragging the rubber boy off across the beach.

"Will there be meat in it?"

"Doubt it."

"Then I probably won't eat it." Luffy stated confidently.

Zoro rolled his eyes and kept moving. "Wonderful. Come on, Chopper. Maybe we'll get to beat someone up later."

Chopper blinked, but was quick to follow. "Um.. Yay?"

Just as the two ladies were about to take their leave, Robin was stopped by a hand resting on her shoulder. She glanced back to see a blue eye fixed on her. "Yes, Cook-san?"

Sanji gave his best charming smile as he leaned in to whisper to her. "Just wanted to let you know that things may liven up a bit, Robin-chan. You might want to keep an eye out."

Catching the playful tone, Robin offered a sly smile. "I see.. Thank you, Cook-san. I'll be sure to watch for anything interesting." she replied before leaving to catch up with Nami.

"You're more than welcome, my lovely Robin-chwan~!" Sanji lingered a moment to admired the way the slinky purple one piece swimsuit hugged the woman's curves. "Kyaaa~! So lovely.."

"Oi! Sanji! Hurry up!"

Turning to his partner, Sanji chuckled and waved a hand in dismissal. "Don't worry, Usopp. Just stick with our plan and we'll be fine."

The pleased expression on the blonde's face made Usopp worry. A lot. "Why are you so confident about this?"

The question had Sanji placing a finger to his lips as he gave a wink. "Secret. You'll find out after we win."

Usopp fixed a bland glare on the blonde before letting out a defeated sigh. "Every time you get like this I feel like I'm making a deal with a demon."

Sanji gave a low chuckle and pulled the black sunglasses resting atop his head down to perch on the bridge of his nose. "Really? I don't know what would give you that impression."

"I think it's the horns and the way you occasionally laugh maniacally to yourself when you think no one is watching." Usopp grabbed hold of Sanji's rolled up sleeve and pulled him along. "Let's go. I snuck out ahead of everyone this morning and stashed that bag in our area. We've got everything we'll need."

"Fabulous." Sanji allowed himself to be pulled and happily smoked his cigarette. "I've got a good feeling."

"Just don't forget I'm on your side. I expect protection from any charging swordsmen."

"Ha, you just leave Marimo to me. I already know how to deal with him.

"Suddenly I'm thrilled and terrified at the same time."

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TBC

Where do you get a pink rubber sandcastle costume?

Later~


	2. For a good cause

Let's get this contest started.

Enjoy~

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Chapter 2

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"So... How are we going to do this?" Zoro questioned as he looked at the giant mound of sand they had to start off with. The pile was almost taller than he was and about the same size around as the table in Merry's galley.

It served to clue him in on how big they had to build. _'Shit.. This is going to take forever...'_

"Should I check to see if there's any meat in there?" Luffy asked, poking the sand pile with a small spade.

Chopper winced when he heard Zoro slap his palm to his forehead in exasperation. "Erm.. Luffy, let's just focus on building a castle."

The captain accepted that answer and looked at his two teammates expectantly. "Yosh. So what are we doing?"

"..."

When a long silence passed between the three of them, Zoro let out a growl and rubbed at his temples. "Let's just throw something together. Then we can go beat everyone else into a coma and knock their castles down in the second half."

"Hahaha! I like that idea!" Luffy applauded with an eager grin.

"Heh.. You would come up with something so barbaric, Marimo."

On hearing the familiar smoky voice, the three turned to see Sanji casually strolling towards them.

"I suppose you've got a brilliant idea." Zoro snorted.

Sanji came to a stop at the post that held the same number as Zoro's arm band. He grinned around his cigarette and calmly pulled his shades a little further down his nose so he could look over the rims. "Naturally. I told you. Me and Usopp are gonna win, but I didn't come over here to flaunt your impending defeat in your face."

Zoro had to suppress the growl that wanted to form. "Then what? That fruitcake castle is about to start the contest." He hated seeing that pink pervert lurking in and out of his field of vision. It was starting to creep him out.

The cook gestured with his thumb at the ladies that were waiting over with Usopp at their designated area further down the beach. "Nami-san wants us to get a strategy going so we each are doing something different. Better chance if we got a variety going."

"Hn. I thought you said you were going to win."

Pushing his sunglasses back into place, Sanji smirked and gave a helpless shrug, "That's what I told her, but you know how competitive Nami-san can be. I just hope she isn't too wounded when I get first place. Of course I'll give her the prize, but she tends to hold a grudge." A dreamy smile pulled over his lips as he puffed out a few heart shaped smoke rings. "Although I do like it when she's pissed..." he mused with a sigh.

Zoro stared at him for a moment before shaking his head. "You're just sick. But whatever. Let's go see what she wants." he muttered before pushing past the blonde.

Easily going with the motion, Sanji gave a light whistle as he took up step behind the walking wall of muscle. "Be nice, Marimo. One of these days you might hurt my feelings." he lightly chided.

The unusual response confused him, but Zoro had no time to think of it when he felt a finger trace the curve of his spine down his bare back until it lightly hooked the waistband of his brown cargo shorts. His eyes snapped open, but when he spun around he only saw Luffy and Chopper jumping at being glared at. "What the..."

He looked back over his shoulder only to balk when he saw Sanji already half way to where Usopp and the girls were waiting. "How the hell did he get all the way over there?_!_"

"Haha, Sanji's getting faster! I didn't even see him that time." Luffy admitted with a look that could be akin to pride.

"Sanji's so cool.." Chopper whispered, his eyes wide and sparkly.

Watching them gush over the blonde turned Zoro's stomach. He turned away from his teammates and focused on keeping his composure. _'That curly bastard is getting on my last nerve..'_

On reaching the others Zoro was about to demand what the idiot cook was trying to do a moment ago, but he was stopped in his tracks when that hidden gaze focused on him. There was a strange smirk pulled over Sanji's lips a moment before he made a faint kissing motion in his direction.

His eyes widening, Zoro shot his gaze around to see if anyone else saw it. When no one else seemed to have seen the flirting gesture, Zoro turned his head only to see Sanji wasn't there. _'What the hell?_!_'_

"Zoro? Did you lose something?"

Looking towards Nami's voice, Zoro nearly fell over when he saw the blonde standing behind her calmly smoking like nothing had happened. _'How the hell did he get over there?_!_'_

"Zoro?_!_"

"What?_!_ I'm listening!"

Hardly believing that, Nami decided to ignore the slow swordsman. "Okay, now we need to figure out what we're each doing so we don't copy anything. Has anyone figured out what they want to do?"

Usopp readily raised his hand. "Sanji and I are gonna make a central castle form out of the starting sand pile, then make fort walls around it with a moat."

"Ooo! A moat! I wanna make a moat!" Luffy chirped as he bounced up and down.

Nami promptly smacked him hard. "Idiot! You can't make a moat! You have to stay away from the sea water! In fact, you, Robin and Chopper have to make sure you don't get exposed too much to the water, or you'll lose all of your energy."

"Wait, that means I'll have to practically make the damn thing myself to keep these two away from the water!" Zoro shot out with an irritated glare.

"So will I, Zoro. It's not that big of a deal. " Nami pointed out blandly. "Well, since Sanji-kun and Usopp have their idea, that means we've got to try something different. Any suggestions?"

"Hm.. Why don't you do something you know?" Sanji offered lightly.

"Do something we know?" Chopper repeated curiously.

The blonde nodded and pointed to the doctor. "Sure, you lived at that castle at Drum for most of your life. You should know it pretty well to make something."

When the idea was mentioned, Choppers eyes grew wide as a bright smile filled his face. "Yeah! I know every inch of that castle!" He shot his attention to his two teammates. "Can we?_!_ Please?_!_"

"Sure! I really liked that place! Let's give it a shot!" Luffy immediately agreed.

Although he hated having to use the cook's idea, Zoro couldn't deny how happy it made Chopper. "Fine by me."

"Yaay~!"

"Do you have a suggestion for us, Cook-san?" Robin asked with a little smile.

Sanji was silent for a moment as he thought over their options. "The palace at Alubarna."

"That's not really a castle, though." Nami pointed out.

"But it doesn't have to be exact." Robin stated lightly. "I know the layout of that place, so we can use it to base our castle on. It would be different from the other two ideas."

Unable to argue with that logic, Nami smiled and nodded. "Alright. It's settled. Lets get ready."

"Yosh!"

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The contest was soon underway with that creepy castle guy bouncing like mad checking on everyone. The only thing that was good about it was that the castle costume squeaked horribly with every move the man made, so he wasn't very stealthy. They could always hear him approaching.

A merciful early warning device.

Everyone along the beach was working like mad to get a quick start. Gathering water, knocking down the starting pile to place into buckets and molds. It was a mass frenzy everywhere.

All except the pair and area #59.

"Heh.. Look at them all. You'd think this was a race." Sanji chuckled as he got another bucket full of water.

Filling his own yellow bucket from the incoming surf, Usopp glanced towards the two teams made up from their nakama. "Think they have any idea what you're up to?"

"Not a chance." Sanji chuckled as he calmly walked back up the beach to their pile of sand.

Neither of them had touched a single grain since the competition started fifteen minutes ago. Instead they had been filling bucket after bucket of water to pour on the pile.

After pouring the newest buckets over the pile, Sanji tossed his aside and placed his hand on the darkened sand. "Hm.. Yes, I like this consistency. I can work on this now."

"Does it need to be packed down any?" Usopp questioned as he reached for the bag of tools they had gathered.

"Nah. It's solid. Hand me those two cake servers in there."

"You mean the ones with Luffy's teeth marks on the handles?"

Sanji let out a sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Yes, that would be correct."

Snickering slightly, Usopp pulled out the two flat spade like objects. One was rounded, while the other had a serrated edge to it. He handed them over and watched in intrigue as the blonde deftly twirled them. "So, carving out the basic structure?"

"Yep. I'll leave all the fine detail to you. Better pull on your goggles. I'll be throwing this stuff all over the place." Sanji warned as he pushed his sunglasses further up his nose to protect his eyes.

Quickly doing as told, Usopp watched closely as the cook approached the pile of sand.

Sanji slowly walked around the pile of sand. Looking over every inch as if he was searching for the shape he wanted within it. After he made a complete circle around it, he came to a stop. Taking a deep breath, he stepped forward and raised the two cake servers. "Stand back, Usopp."

The moment Usopp backed away a few paces, a tornado of flying sand began flying all around their starting pile. Sanji's hands were moving almost too fast for him to see as he carved into the wet sand. "Awesome! Go Sanji!_!_" he cheered as the cook continued.

The commotion was enough to draw the attention of their nakama that flanked their area.

Zoro and his team came in from the left, while the two ladies approached from the right. The sand continued to fall in neat slices all around them and actually held their shape after being tossed aside. All of them were astonished with the amount of speed the cook was using, but their eyes widened when they could make out the form of an actual structure. Towers and turrets were formed before their eyes as more walls began to take shape. It was actually starting to look like a castle.

Within less than five minutes, Sanji came to a stop in front of his sand sculpture. His hair was slightly ruffled from the fast motions, and his cheeks had a faint flush from the heat he had worked up. A deep breath left him as he wiped the sweat from his brow. "Whooo... It's been a while since I've done this. Bit out of practice." he mused while pulling off his sunglasses to check over his work.

"Are you kidding?_!_ That was amazing!" Luffy chirped as he eyed the mostly complete castle.

There was a five foot wide wall base that stood three feet tall. Around it were two large towers on each side that stood an additional two feet that were a foot wide. Atop the wall base there was a pyramid like structure that had four levels that were big enough to be steps. The top layer was leveled off flat at nearly six feet in the air. It looked wide enough for someone to sit on.

They were all impressed.

Even Zoro._ 'I.. Didn't know he was that fast with his hands.. And to carve with such precision...'_

"Sanji-kun! Why didn't you tell me you could do this?_!_" Nami demanded with a pout.

Sanji grinned sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck. "I apologize, Nami-swan! I wasn't sure if I could anymore. It's been years since I've done this."

"It's wonderful, Cook-san. But what are you going to place at the top? It looks like a pedestal." Robin commented as she looked over the construction.

"I think we're going to put something for decoration up there. Anyway, I've done my part for the central building. I'll leave the rest to you, Usopp." Sanji called out as he began gathering up the buckets.

Usopp grinned wide and threw up his arms excitedly. "Yosh! Leave it to me! I can definitely work with this! Just keep the buckets of water coming, Sanji!"

The blonde gave a slight salute. "Will do. I'll start laying the foundation for the fort walls while I'm at it. Don't forget those spray bottles we brought." Sanji reminded lightly as he returned to the water's edge.

Nami watched the blonde go, but was soon glaring in frustration. "Dammit, I will not be beaten! Robin! Let's go!"

Robin smirked when her teammate stormed off. It seemed as if Zoro was feeling a bit competitive as well when he promptly drug Luffy and Chopper back to their area. Her attention then turned to the sniper who was digging through a brown bag. "That was very clever of Cook-san. Pairing his quick carving skills with your creative talents."

Usopp froze for a moment, but when he saw her easy smile, he was soon grinning. "Sometimes it's scary how far ahead he plans stuff."

"Indeed, but it's always interesting." She gave another smile and lightly patted the sniper's shoulder. "Good luck, Longnose-kun."

He watched her leave for a moment, but soon a wide smirk was forming on his face. "Heh... Luck has nothing to do with this.." Usopp reached into their tool bag and pulled out three spray bottles. His smirk seemed to twitch wider on looking at them. _'With these and our secret weapons, nothing's going to stop us from winning.'_

"Oi, what's got you looking particularly evil?" Sanji's voice called out.

Looking up from the spray bottles, Usopp gave a lopsided grin. "Just thinking of what an a evil genius you are. It's not really fair, ya know. No one's gonna have a chance after we're through."

Sanji smirked and offered a half hearted shrug. "It's for a good cause."

"And what cause would that be?"

"Watching Marimo's head explode."

"Heh, you're a real bastard."

"This is true. Now let's get to work. The faster we finish, the sooner we can begin our evil plan."

"Haha! Yes, sir!"

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TBC

Marimo head go BOOM!

Later~


	3. Marimochan

Things are getting heated.

Enjoy~

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Chapter 3  
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"Nami-swaan~! I've brought you a present!"

Looking up from the structure she and Robin were in the midst of making, Nami soon saw the blonde cook heading towards them. Her eyes immediately lowered to the two buckets that were in his hands. "What is it, Sanji-kun?"

Sanji smiled brightly and held up the red bucket in his right hand. "I've been collecting seashells for decorations. I've gathered some stunning specimens for you to use with your castle!" he cooed happily.

Nami's eyes brightened as she quickly approached her nakama. "That's a great idea! Thank you, Sanji-kun!"

Hearts were immediately flying around Sanji's head as a giddy grin pulled over his face. "It's my pleasure, Nami-swan!"

He was just about to hand the plastic bucket over for the woman to inspect when a sharp whistle split the air around them. They immediately winced at the piercing sound and were startled when a familiar pink castle leapt to the ground next to them. Sanji then found himself blinking in confusion when the occupant of the pick castle singled him out with a rigidly pointed finger.

"Stop right there! You're not on the same team, Mister! You can't help another team!" the host of the competition declared on that same grating voice.

Sanji tilted his head at the abrupt display before quirking up his visible brow. "You didn't say anything in the rules about helping another team." he pointed out dryly.

The host's head seemed to flush a brighter red as he clenched his fist. "It's never happened before, so I've never had to! So new rule! No helping other teams!" He squeaked loudly in his rubber costume as he hopped up and down on the sand.

The two stared at the bouncing pink cast blankly before looking back to one another. It was a threat of disqualification that could be dealt to both of them for offering or accepting aid. It was a pain, but they didn't have much choice if they wanted to win.

Finally, Nami gave a strained smile and shrugged. "Thanks anyway, Sanji-kun. We'll collect our own shells later."

Sanji frowned as the redhead walked away. His eyes shifted down to the seashells he had spent half an hour collecting up and down the shore. _'Shit... I went to the trouble so Nami-san and Robin-chan wouldn't have to risk going around the other teams...'_ His brow furrowed deeper on thinking of the two ladies being accosted by the brutes that lined the beach.

"Ahem!"

The sound of that damn castle bastard clearing his throat had Sanji glancing in his direction. There was a smug look on that tomato shaped head that simply rubbed Sanji the wrong way. _'I will not be bested by this freakshow..'_

He gave an unimpressed glare to the overly pleased looking host's before turning around without a word.

Standing in a confident pose of his hands on his pink rubber clad hips, the host was basking in his victory as he watched the blonde man leave the posted area of the two women. He was just about to continue on his rounds when he noticed the thin figure suddenly stopped. "What.. What is he doing?" the host asked with a confused tilt of his round head.

Well outside the girls' area, Sanji kept his back turned to the host and held up the bucket in his right hand. His fingers suddenly released the bucket's rope handle, causing it to promptly fall. The red bucket hit the sand and toppled over, causing all of the glittering shells inside to spill over the sand.

"Oh no! I have dropped my bucket conveniently outside of team 60's area. It will take me forever to pick all of these shells back up." Sanji called out on a faked tone of distress. "Oh well. I guess I will just leave them here where anyone could pick them up." he added loud enough for both the host and the girls to hear. The blonde then casually walked away, leaving bucket and all out in the open for anyone to come across.

That cool confidence had the host letting out a high pitched growl and stomping his bare foot on the sand. "Damn smart bastard! I hate loopholes!" he grunted before storming off to the next area on the beach.

Once the strange scene was over, both Nami and Robin were left staring in bemusement. After the immediate surprise wore off, Robin was soon giggling softly. "Cook-san is proving to be rather shrewd today. I'll go gather the shells."

Shrewd was a bit of an understatement. The cook was handling the entire thing like he had done this before. "But that's impossible.. He's never been here before. None of us have..." Nami muttered to herself.

She watched Robin approach the tipped over bucket, and had to admit the blonde had been very smooth at that entire ordeal. "I didn't know he would take this so serious." she mused before returning her attention back to her castle.

It was finally looking like a decent castle, which made a determined gleam fill her eyes as she picked her spade back up. "Even so, I will not lose to him!"

Losing wasn't an option.

fjfjfj

"Hey Marimo!"

Looking up from the castle form that was finally taking shape in front of him, Zoro was about to glare at the cook when something wet and slimy smacked him straight in the face. "Gah!"

Staggering back, he ripped the slimy mass off of his face only to find a large wad of seaweed in his hand. "The hell.." His head shot up to stare down the grinning idiot standing a few feet away. "Bastard! What the hell was that for?_!_"

Sanji gave a shit eating grin and folded his hands behind his head. "I figured it was time to introduce the kelphead back to its brethren! Haha!"

Zoro immediately saw red and threw the clump of seaweed to the sand. "I'm going to rip that look off your face!" he snarled before charging for the mouthy bastard.

Instead of another head on fight like he expected, Sanji actually spun around and ran towards the water's edge. Instantly feeling like something was off, Zoro briefly wondered if he should pursue. A deliberate cloud of sand that was kicked up in front of him decided it for him when it aimed for his face. "Damn shit cook!"

He ignored the calls of Luffy and Chopper that sounded behind him as he ran after the blonde headed for the water's edge. Sanji had him running through the water rolling along the sand. Their feet leaving behind prints that were immediately washed away.

It had been a while since he had attempted to run barefoot along wet sand, but Zoro soon realized that he couldn't catch up to the lanky blonde with the amount of a head start he had. This fact only pissed him off further. _'Fast little chicken shit...'_

"Get back here and face me, Shit cook!"

He didn't expect the blonde to really comply.

Sanji came to a full stop on the sand and dug his left foot in before spinning around.

Zoro barely managed to raise his left arm in time to block a high kick suddenly aimed at his head. There wasn't as much force behind the blow as he was used to, but he attributed that to the absent heavy black shoes. An attempt to grab the right leg in the air led to a kick to his gut from the left as that inhuman agility allowed Sanji to spin his way out of reach.

Zoro staggered back a step from the blow, but something wasn't right. _'That felt way too easy.. Is.. Is he..' _A glare formed over the tan face as Zoro took on a rigid stance. "Why the hell are you toying with me? If you want a fight, fight me seriously."

Sanji took on a casual stance as he placed his hands on his hips. "Maybe I like toying with you, Marimo. You gotta problem with that?"

"You know damn well that I do."

"Then what are you going to do about it?"

It was a challenge. Blatant and daring. And it had Zoro suspicious as hell. His eyes narrowed before he took a look at their surroundings. They had ran further from the contest site than he had anticipated. The stretch of beach they stood on was quiet and deserted. Not a single soul around.

Zoro fixed his gaze back on the smirking cook. "Why did you bring me out here?"

A strange hum left the blonde as he offered a sly wink. "You chased me out here, Marimo."

The impulsive angry reply was quickly suppressed as Zoro attempted to analyze the situation. Sanji was purposely targeting him. Trying to provoke him. But wasn't facing him seriously. This just wasn't adding up.

Eventually he gave a slight snort and turned away. "I'm not going to play your stupid games, Dartbrow." Before he could even take a step away, a pair of pale arms slid around his waist and pulled him back. Feeling a firm body pressed against his back had Zoro frowning. "What are you doing, Cook?"

Sanji shamelessly perched his chin atop a broad shoulder and whispered into the pierced ear. "If you're not going to play, then I'll just have to play by myself..."

Zoro didn't have time to process the words when he saw a pale hand inching down to the waistband of his shorts. His eyes growing wide, he ripped away from the hold around him only to face the blonde with a heated glare. He didn't allow the perverted cook time to react as he roughly took hold of the slender shoulders and practically body slammed him to the wet sand below.

Ignoring the choked gasp it pulled from his nakama, Zoro pinned the thin body to the ground with a forearm placed threateningly hard against the pale neck. An angry growl left him as he looked into that calm blue eye. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" he asked again on a flat tone.

Although the sudden rough treatment was startling, a slow smirk formed over Sanji's lips as his eye became half lidded. "I think I'm being pinned by the rock hard body of my nakama in a particularly romantic setting. What do you think you're doing?" he whispered coyly.

Zoro balked at the redirection. This was weird. Too damn weird for him to even think of figuring out. _'He's trying to throw me off.. That's it.. Mind games..'_

When his intimidation had no affect on the smirk on that curly bastard's face, Zoro began pulling away. "I think I'm being manipulated by a shit brained perverted cook." Once standing he looked back at the figure still lying on the sand.

Sun colored hair was spilling over onto the sand as that visible blue eye was watching him. His lips were parted slightly, and his right hand was lazily tracing a line from his collar bone, down his lean sculpted torso, to the waistband of the short black swim trunks he wore. That combined with the unbuttoned white shirt that was falling off his shoulders and the gentle water that lapped at the ground beneath him made the lithesome pale figure look very inviting.

The moment it occurred to him that he actually found the sight attractive, Zoro quickly became pissed. At the idiot blonde for pulling such a shit stunt, and himself for being close to falling for it. "Damn ero-cook.." he grunted before quickly leaving the area.

Sanji had to tilt his head back in the sand to watch the swordsman storm off in an irritated huff. He waited until Zoro was a good distance away before he called out. "The contest is the other direction, Marimo-chaaan~!"

He then watched in great amusement as the moss head stopped abruptly and made an about-face.

As he passed by, Zoro made every effort to avoid looking at the blonde still on the sand with that infuriating smirk. "Damn dartbrow... Keep the hell away from me if you're going to pull that weird shit." he muttered loudly as he passed.

The cook didn't answer. He was too busy grinning like a Cheshire cat as he finally sat up. When the swordsman was out of earshot, Sanji gave a low whistle and folded his arms over his chest. "I think I like it when he gets flustered. I need to make that happen more often."

He was about to stand when he noticed something out of the corner of his eye. "Hm..?"

There on the sand next to him was a single ear and a very familiar eye watching him.

Seeing that made Sanji smirk as he reached over and lightly ran his finger over the ear. "Tickle tickle, Robin-chan." he cooed.

Further up the beach, Nami nearly dropped a spoon she was carving the sand with when a sudden giggle left Robin. When she looked to her teammate, she saw the older woman biting her lip and clamping a hand on her right ear. "Robin? What is it?" she asked with a tilt of her head.

Snorting slightly when the sensation persisted, Robin quickly had to remove the extensions of herself. "Ah.. Nothing, really. Something just tickling my ear."

"Oh.. Okay."

As Nami went back to work, Robin looked over her shoulder in time to see a faintly blushing Zoro moving stiffly across the sand. She gave him a cheerful wave, and came close to laughing when his blush seemed to grow before he looked away.

_'Naughty Cook-san... It's barely into the third hour.'_

Robin couldn't wait for the day to really get underway.

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TBC

Smexy.

Later~


	4. Moat testing

Who wants to test the moat?

Enjoy~

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Chapter 4

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"He is so gonna kill us."

"No he's not. Come on, don't chicken out on me now."

"Sanji, you're insane..."

"Probably. Now come on! His back is turned!"

Sighing deeply, Usopp glanced over at the blonde looking through a pair of binoculars. There was a wide grin on his pale face as he chewed eagerly on the filter of his cigarette. _'He's enjoying this a bit too much...'_

When it was apparent the cook was dead set on doing this, Usopp let out a deep sigh. "Well, at least we have this fort wall for cover..." he muttered before raising his sling shot.

At area 58, Luffy was holding little Chopper up so he could add some detail to one of the tall towers of their castle. "This is actually kinda fun. It's starting to look awesome, Chopper!" he complimented the tiny doctor happily.

Chopper blushed bright red as he came close to knocking down the thin tower. "I'm not flattered, you bastard!" he squeaked while trying hard to resist the urge to wiggle.

Ignoring the two on the other side of the sand castle, Zoro was placing all of his focus on mixing up more sand and water to form another tower. The events of the past hour were still ringing in his head to the point he had the urge to crack his skull open on the plastic bucket he was using. He wasn't sure if it could be done, but he was willing to give it a try.

'_What the hell was that bastard thinking?'_ he kept thinking over and over. Better yet, why was he always afflicted with this strange tingly feeling every time he thought of it? All he did was pin that annoying cook to the sand. On a deserted beach. With the water lapping around them. Barely clothed...

'_Shit...'_

Shoving those unwelcome thoughts out of his head, he was about to add more sand to his bucket when a sharp sting caught the back of his head. "Ow! What the hell was that?_!_"

Luffy and Chopper peeked around the castle to see the swordsman rubbing the back of his head. "What was what?" Luffy asked with a raised brow.

Feeling the welt right at the base of his skull, Zoro frowned. "Something just hit me from behind."

"Do you need me to look at it?" Chopper quickly asked in concern.

The green head shook. "No.. I'm fine. It's probably nothing. I'm going to get more water." Zoro got to his feet, but when he bent over to pick up an empty bucket he felt another sharp sting strike him dead center of his left ass cheek. "Grah! Alright! Someone's screwing with me!"

His dark eyes shot over the area until he saw the sandcastle in area 59. There he caught sight of two heads ducking down below a tall wall of sand. "You shitheads are asking to die!" he growled before storming off for the neighboring castle.

"Zoro! We only have another hour until the break period!" Chopper called out quickly.

"Don't worry, Chopper. We have plenty of time. Let's keep working. Sanji and Usopp want to play with Zoro right now." Luffy chuckled, completely confident in what he was saying.

That confidence soon had Chopper smiling. "Okay!"

Hands clenched in tight fists, Zoro was sorely wishing he could make a more intimidating approach, but the shifting sands didn't add much affect to heavy footsteps. As he drew closer to the other sandcastle he was a bit perplexed when the walls seemed to get bigger. He had noticed the two building them for the past two hours, but when he finally got closer he was a little surprised at what he found.

The walls were five feet tall, and were detailed into looking like they were made of blocks. At the corners there were six foot tall rounded towers that had arched windows with pointed roofs that looked tiled. If that amount of detail wasn't enough, Zoro stared blankly when he saw that around the sand fortress walls was a three foot wide moat filled with water. He raised a brow at the excessive width, then noticed that there was a wooden door at the front fortress wall._ 'When the hell did they get that?'_

He came to a stop at the edge of the moat and glared at the wall in front of him. He could clearly hear the pair hiding behind it desperately trying not to laugh. The muffled snickers and snorts of amusement made his anger raise another notch.

"I know it was you two. Just come out and take your beatings like men." he grunted flatly.

More choked laughter was heard before a grinning blonde head popped up from behind the wall of sand. "Not by the hairs on my chinny chin chin!"

"Bahahaha!" Usop's voice exploded from behind the wall.

Zoro bared his teeth in a growl. "That's it. I've had it with you, blondie!"

"Heh, you're not getting in unless we lower the drawbridge, Marimo~! So growl all you like." Sanji shot back while flipping the swordsman off.

"Hn. Right. Like I'm scared of your stupid little moa-GYAH!" The moment Zoro took a step forward he immediately dropped into the water that went completely over his head.

Usopp's head popped over the wall to look at the bubbles floating to the surface of their moat. "You tried to warn him."

Sanji nodded as he took a drag from a half finished cigarette. "That I did."

Seconds later the green head finally emerged from the water gasping desperately. "Shit! How deep is this damn thing?_!_" Zoro exclaimed when he couldn't feel the bottom.

"About twelve feet, give or take a few inches." Sanji answered casually.

Zoro's jaw dropped. "Twelve feet?_! _How the hell did you fill it up with this much water?_!_"

Usopp readily held up a familiar looking shell. "Water dial! Took only a minute to fill everything!" he stated proudly.

"You're using the dials? How the hell is that fair?_!_" Zoro demanded as he attempted to get back on dry sand.

"Now now, Marimo..." Sanji took another drag from his smoke and held it for a moment. "You wouldn't begrudge the only team that doesn't have a devil's fruit user from taking what advantages they can, would you?"

Crawling out of the moat, Zoro shook his head and lightly pounded on his ears to knock the water out. "I'm sorely tempted to begrudge you of your breathing privileges..." he muttered loudly as he wiped the dripping water off his face.

"So vicious. You should be nicer. If you had asked politely, I would have let you in." Sanji countered coyly.

"I'm not about to ask you for anything, Shit cook. Let alone politely." Getting back to his feet, Zoro leveled one last glare on the pair behind the wall. "Last warning for the both of you. You try this shit again, I don't care how much Nami bitches. I will knock down that castle myself and drown you in your own damn moat." he warned before turning away.

Deciding to be merciful, Sanji merely smirked as he watched the marimo walk away. "See? That wasn't so bad. He was even nice enough to test out our moat."

The sniper folded his arms over his chest and nodded. "Yes, Zoro is definitely a bastion of kindness."

A silence fell between them, but the moment they looked at one another they immediately fell into a fit of hysterical laughter.

Further away, it took all of Zoro's willpower to keep walking away. _'I'm gonna kill those two one day...'_

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"Eeee.. Mellorine~! Mellorine~!"

When he heard another giddy sigh coming from the other side of the central castle, Usopp rolled his eyes and tried to keep his focus on the sculpture of Kaya that he was carving into one of the castle's towers.

"Oh.. Oh yes.. No! No no no! Don't go behind the castle, Robin-chawn! Nooo! Dammit..."

Snorting to himself, the sniper resisted the urge to take a peek to see what the blonde was up to.

"Nami-swan~! Oh my.. Yes! She's been in the water! Oh... How you torture me, little red bikini... Why must you and your brethren always get in my way... Wait.. Wait! Oh! Oh yes! Yes!_!_ Kyaaaa!_!_"

On hearing the heavy thud that struck the compacted sand, Usopp blinked in confusion. He crawled around the castle only to gawk when he found the cook passed out on the sand with blood dripping from his nose. "Wah! Sanji!"

Scrambling across the sand, Usopp pulled the blonde to sit up and lightly smacked his face. "Sanji! Sanji, speak to me! What happened?_!_"

It took a moment, but eventually Sanji brought up the binoculars he was holding up to his chest and hugged it as a giddy grin was on his face. "A scantily clad wet Nami-swan hugged a scantily clad Robin-chwan~! Mellorine~!"

Usopp could only stare blankly for a moment before he promptly allowed the perverted blonde to fall back to the sand. "Dammit, I was worried about you..." he grunted as he returned to his Kaya carving.

Still hugging the binoculars, Sanji was snickering like mad. "It's a beautiful thing. Seeing two luscious ladies getting along so well..." He was quick to scramble to his feet in order to resume peeking.

Letting out a sigh, Usopp finally couldn't hold back. "Hey, Sanji? Can you tell me why you're so hung up on Nami? I mean seriously tell me? She's never going to like you like that, but you let her string you along."

Sanji lowered the binoculars for a moment as a private smile twitched across his lips. "Sometimes the chase is better than the capture, Usopp. Until she figures out the one she really wants, I'm content with being a stand in prince charming."

The surprisingly mature answer had Usopp looking around the castle at the blonde. The moment he did he was greeted to the sight of Sanji once more grinning insanely as he adjusted the focus on the binoculars. An unimpressed stare fell over Usopp's features as he let out a deep sigh. "I suppose other than that, you're just a big pervert."

"Says the guy secretly carving his girlfriend's likeness all over the place." Sanji smirked on hearing a choking sound, but continued to look through the binoculars. "Don't bother lying. I've watched you draw her enough to know who she is. I must say I'm impressed, Usopp. She's quite the lady. Classy looking."

His words surprised the sniper a great deal. "You... You're not going to tease me? Crack jokes on how she's too good for me?"

Sanji lowered the binoculars and looked towards his nakama with a slight frown. "Why would I do that? You're my friend."

The simple answer blew Usopp away. He stared at the blonde for a long moment as if it was the first time he was seeing him. After a long silent moment, Usopp found himself scrubbing at the moisture that collected in the corners of his eyes before offering a bright grin. "So what's next for our evil plan, partner?_!_"

Seeing that grin immediately had Sanji beaming. "I believe it's time to class this place up a bit. Break out the spray bottles and start mixing up the colors. I'm going to acquire the crowning piece for our happy little castle."

Reminded of the flat pedestal that comprised the top of their castle, Usopp looked at it curiously. "Oh yeah. What are you going to put up there?"

Sanji smirked and took a look through his binoculars at a small passing ship that was out on the water.

"Let's just say that the prince is going to be claiming his throne."

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TBC

He can claim my throne~

Later!


	5. Begone, Knave

Every castle needs a Prince.

Enjoy~

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Chapter 5

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"Luffy! Back off! Leave some for the rest of us!"

"But I'm hungry!_!_"

"That doesn't mean you eat the entire food cart!"

"But the cart's tasty too!"

"Luffy!_!_"

As the scene in front of him began declining rapidly, Zoro felt his right eye twitching hard. "I'm not getting involved in that.. I'd rather go hungry..." he muttered as he turned away from the group trying to pry his captain off the food cart. He could still hear the fiasco that was developing around the food cart, but the sound was competing with the threatening growls that his stomach was making.

"Dammit.. I should have eaten more this morning..."

As he headed back for his near complete castle, a bright color caught his attention. His head turned in the direction of area 59, but what he saw made his jaw drop slightly. "Orange...?"

The fort walls that surrounded the castle were a bright and sunny looking orange color.

It was so bright that Zoro was at a loss of what to think. "When did they paint it?"

Going against his better judgement, Zoro decided to get a better look. As he drew closer he could soon pick out the familiar image of a young woman carved into the towers at the wall corners. _'Kaya... Usopp's been busy.' _His eyes also picked out the countless seashells that were used to decorate the sand block walls, and the tip of every tower was topped with a flag.

He cringed when he saw the flags held a pink heart with a gold crown atop it._ 'How girly...'_

His thoughts trailed off when he finally looked to the center castle beyond the wall.

A chair was resting on the top layer of the pyramid structure that comprised the main castle, which was now a brilliant sky blue color. Perched upon the wooden high backed chair was a certain blonde cook held up a good six feet in the air.

Sanji's legs were carelessly hooked over the left arm of the wide chair as he used the right armrest to prop his back against. In his hands was a metal cocktail shaker that rattled as he shook the contents rhythmically.

The sight was nearly enough to make Zoro trip over the sand in front of him, but, as he finally came to a stop at the edge of the moat, he had to do a double take at what the blonde was wearing.

Atop the golden hair was a 6 point crown made of pale blue auger shells and scallop shells. Around his neck was a long necklace made of pale orange margin shells that draped over his bare chest, and around his wrists were two bracelets made of tiny white conch shells. The shells rattled along with the shaking canister as the sunglasses hidden eyes were locked up at the sky.

There was just something about the way the sun hit the pale figure that made Zoro feel strange. _'He's still up to something... Can't let my guard down around him.'_

At that moment, Sanji caught sight of someone out of the corner of his eye. "Hm...?"

When he noticed who it was, he tilted his head forward to look over the rims of his glasses. After looking at the staring swordsman for a moment, a smirk soon curled his lips. "General~! There's an intruder at the main gate." he called out while unscrewing the top of the shaker.

The statement had Zoro raising a brow, but he didn't have time to comment when a figure suddenly popped up from behind the wall. Standing well over Zoro's head was Usopp. A yellow bucket rested on his head with holes cut out for his eyes and nose, and a green cape was tied around his shoulders.

"Halt in the name of Prince Sanji!" Usopp declared loudly as he aimed his slingshot that was armed with what looked to be a water balloon.

The moment he heard the sniper's words, the most sarcastic stare fell over Zoro's face. "You have got to be kidding me... What the hell is all of this?"

Sanji hummed thoughtfully as he took up a long stem glass that was resting on his flat stomach and poured out the contents of the cocktail shaker. "This is my kingdom, Good sir. State your business or I will give my general permission to fire." he stated before taking a sip of his drink.

Zoro glared at the haughty blonde before looking at the man aiming at him. "Why do you humor this nutjob?"

Usopp snickered and kept his sights on the swordsman. "Because it's fun, and he's bribing me with snacks. I've been getting awesome food all day."

"You brought food?" Zoro questioned. His stomach almost revolted against him on hearing that.

A snort left Sanji as he gestured with the hand holding the glass towards the debacle still encompassing the food cart. "Of course. I wasn't about to get sucked into that shit."

On looking back, Zoro cringed when he saw Nami kicking a grounded Luffy further into the sand. "You didn't offer any to the girls?"

Sanji sighed and swirled the pale pink liquid in his glass around. "I tried, but Nami-san refused my aid. Such a waste. I prepared such wonderful treats for them... Oh well. I suppose I'll have to find some other hungry soul to give them to."

It was torture. It took all of Zoro's will power to keep from saying anything, but his stomach was threatening to say plenty on its own. In a desperate act, he focused on the colors of the fortress. "How did you paint everything?"

"Vegetable dyes that Sanji whipped up. We used them in spray bottles." Usopp readily answered.

"I see.. And that chair?"

"Stole it from that ship that passed by earlier." Sanji chimed in.

"When did you do that?" Zoro couldn't remember seeing the blonde swimming out when the ship was passing the beach.

Rim of the glass lightly poised on his lower lip, Sanji smirked evilly. "Apparently when you weren't looking." He took another sip and gave a low purr. "Mmm.. Decadent.. Anyway, you're starting to bore me, Marimo. General Usopp." The cook gave a snap of his fingers towards the sniper.

"Begone, Knave!" Usopp stated before shooting the water balloon.

The close proximity made it impossible for Zoro to dodge to projectile. With a loud splash, it struck him dead center of his chest and splattered all over him. He wiped the water from his face and placed a bland stare on the sniper. "I believe I gave you fair warning earlier..."

"Heh. Huff and puff all you like, Marimo. This castle ain't going down." Sanji jeered with a grin.

"We'll see about.." Zoro didn't have time to finish his threat when a loud gurgling growl rumbled from his stomach.

Usopp blinked, but was soon snickering. "Looks like someone wasn't able to fight Luffy away fast enough."

Sanji lifted his sunglasses up and frowned at the uncomfortable look on the swordsman's face. "You haven't eaten?"

Admitting the weakness made Zoro feel like drowning himself in the moat, but he soon let out a defeated sigh. "Everyone was in such a hurry this morning, I didn't get a chance to eat much."

"I see..." The blonde was silent for a moment then looked to his teammate. "Hey, Usopp. Why don't you go and scope out the competition? Take notes. We'll need them when the second half starts."

Usopp was about to question the sudden suggestion when he heard another growl cutting in from Zoro's stomach. Immediately understanding, Usopp grinned slyly. "Yes, that sounds like a good idea. I'll lower the draw bridge."

Zoro watched suspiciously as Usopp hopped down off of whatever he had been standing on. Moments later, the wooden door in the wall began lowering. Soon it was resting over the moat, allowing the sniper to step out. He pulled the bucket off his head and gave a cheery grin to Zoro. "I'll be back later. Try not to demolish the castle."

The Sniper then left humming a cheerful tune to himself.

Raising an eyebrow, Zoro focused his gaze on the cook. "What was that all about?"

Sanji shrugged before finishing his drink. "Who knows. You can come in if you want."

Although he was still untrusting of the bastard, Zoro's bare feet were soon crossing the bridge. He had to duck down to go through the entrance, but once inside he was surprised just how much space there was. There was a decent walkway all around the central castle, and he soon noticed several sand blocks at the fortress walls that could be used to stand on in order to get a better look over the wall.

However that puzzled Zoro. He looked to the blonde in the chair that was placed atop the castle and frowned. "How is the castle able to hold your weight? I know you're skinny, but you're not that light."

Sanji poured himself another drink from the canister and chuckled. "Oh, that's simple. Usopp mixed this special quick dry glue he made with the dyes I brought. Everything's hard enough to withstand a direct hit with a mallet."

On hearing that, Zoro reached out and lightly tapped his knuckles against one of the blue towers of the main structure. When it felt like it was made out of concrete, Zoro frowned. "I keep getting the feeling that this is cheating." he muttered.

The blonde shrugged carelessly. "It's still sand. We're not breaking any rules." He gestured towards a corner of the fort. "There are some sandwiches and a few jugs of fresh water over in that big cooler. You can help yourself if you want."

Zoro eyed the white cooler in the corner of the fort for a moment. "I thought you were set on annoying the hell out of me." He looked to the blonde skeptically. "Why the sudden change?"

Smirking at the suspicious tone, Sanji hummed thoughtfully. "Temporary truce. I don't pick on hungry people."

If Zoro only believed one thing the cook ever said, he knew it was that. Certain that no pranks would be pulled with food involved, Zoro lowered his guard a bit and moved to the cooler. On opening it, his mouth watered when he saw the stack of sandwiches and bento boxes placed inside the cooler. He took up one of the wax paper wrapped sandwiches and a jug of the water before he promptly plopped down on the compacted sand near the cooler.

Sanji heard the paper being unwrapped from a sandwich, and smirked around the rim of his cocktail glass when he heard a little groan soon after. "You really were hungry. You're usually a pretty quiet eater." he mused before taking another sip.

"Having to put up with all this stupidity does that." Zoro muttered before resuming his meal.

Chuckling at the still untrusting tone, Sanji delicately crossed his legs over the arm of the chair. "You need to lighten up, Marimo. Have a little fun now and then."

The chiding words had Zoro frowning. He swallowed the bite he had taken and looked up at the form perched high above him. The cook looked so damn content on the self made throne, it was sickening. "Your brand of fun is something I want no part of." he finally stated.

A purring hum left Sanji as he removed his sunglasses to look at the man below. "It's so cute how you talk like you have a choice. A prince always gets what he wants, Marimo. You should just accept your fate and enjoy the ride."

Zoro glared at the wink that followed the statement, but he made no move to get up. Instead he fixed his gaze on the orange wall in front of him. "You're not one to decide my fate, dartbrow. I won't submit to your perverse whims." he muttered before returning to his sandwich.

"Who said I wanted you to submit?" Sanji asked as he swirled his drink slowly.

Tempted to look up, Zoro tried to fight off the intrigue that was starting to form. "Are you saying you'd submit?"

"Shit no."

An unimpressed stare formed over Zoro's tan features. "I'm not seeing where this is going, then."

"Ha! Since when have you ever seen where anything is going?"

Feeling a vein begin to throb on his forehead, the swordsman kept his seat and refused to respond. He wasn't going to be baited. _'I'm not gonna let that bastard get to me..'_ he thought while finishing his sandwich.

Knowing the cold shoulder when he saw it, Sanji grinned before tossing back the rest of his drink. "Mmm... You're such a black and white guy, Marimo. You need to let some color in that grumpy life of yours."

Still getting no answer, Sanji rolled his eyes and shifted in the chair to sit up straight. He then stood and used the steps that descended from his throne to get back on the ground. Once his feet were on the compacted sand, he moved straight for the cooler.

Zoro made himself ready for anything, but he was surprised when the blonde actually went for the cooler. He risked a glance only to see the thin figure bent over rummaging through the box's contents. _'Is he up to something..?'_

Sanji eventually pulled a blue bento box from the cooler and kicked the lid shut. He carried the box directly in front of the seated marimo and sat down on the ground, facing him. "Is that sandwich enough, or would you like something more?" he asked while opening the box.

Seeing a lavish sushi assortment carefully arranged in the box, Zoro growled mentally when he felt his mouth water. "I hope you're not expecting me to do anything for it." he grunted. It was getting more difficult to keep up his indifference with all the tempting food around.

Another chuckle left the pale lips as Sanji pulled out a pair of chopsticks from the box. "All I'm expecting is you to open your mouth if you're still hungry." He delicately picked up a piece of a tuna maki roll and held it up to the dark lips. "Now do you want it?"

The first impulse that shot through Zoro's head was to yell at the idiot for thinking he could try to hand feed him. But he stopped himself. _'If I do that... He might just shove it in my mouth anyway...'_ He had no desire to choke to death, but the scent of the sushi was reminding him one sandwich wasn't very adequate at sating his appetite.

So, against his better judgement, he parted his lips.

When Zoro opened his mouth, Sanji was both surprised and thrilled. He carefully held the piece of sushi out far enough for the other to take, and was trying his best to stop the shit eating grin that was trying to form on his face. Instead he settled for simply smiling as Zoro took the sushi from the chopsticks with his teeth and ate it.

Soon they settled into a silent rhythm of giving and taking. Sanji would pick out pieces of sushi from the box, and Zoro would eat every piece that was held out to him. He felt very silly, but there was something in that smile that was fixed on him that kept Zoro from trying to resist.

'_At least no one can see us in here...'_

Over at area 60, Nami was desperately trying to figure out the strange smirk that was pulled wide over Robin's face. "Robin? Are you listening?"

Snapping out of the trance she was falling into, Robin gave a disarming smile to her partner. "Yes, Navigator-san. Thank you for fighting off Captain-san. I was getting hungry."

Looking at her own meal she had managed to rescue from Luffy's jaws, Nami sighed. "I'm wondering if I shouldn't have refused Sanji-kun's offer." She glanced over her shoulder to the now orange fortress. "Think he'll be upset if that food goes to waste?"

It took a considerable amount of willpower for Robin to keep from giggling. "I'm certain Cook-san will find someone else to share the food with. Let's eat."

Back at the fortress, Sanji was handing over the last piece of sushi from the bento box.

However this time, when Zoro attempted to take it into his teeth, Sanji teasingly pulled it just out of his reach. His eyes narrowed, but he still tried to take it again. When it was pulled out of his reach a second time he gave a slight growl. "What are you doing?"

An evil look was in that visible blue eye. "Admiring the way you look with your mouth open like that. Quite sexy." Sanji replied with a little grin.

That comment had a blush stealing over Zoro's cheeks before he could stop himself. Now pissed at both the blonde and himself, Zoro opened his mouth to yell at the cook. The moment he did he nearly choked when the last piece of sushi was stuffed into his mouth.

Laughing at the wide eyed indignant look he received, Sanji placed the chopsticks back into the bento box and sat it aside. He waited until the swordsman finally choked the food down before speaking. "Well. Now you've been fed."

"More like nearly killed..." Zoro grunted, lightly pounding on his chest.

"Semantics." Sanji leaned forward a bit and propped his elbows on his knees. "So... Now that I've got you all to myself..." he trailed off as a suggestive smirk curled his lips.

Cringing when that fact was pointed out, Zoro immediately began looking around for his escape options. He was seated in a corner with the blonde positioned right in front of him. _'Dammit.. He's got me boxed in...'_

Enjoying the twitchy way Zoro was desperately looking for a way out, Sanji gave a purring hum. "I think I know what might be f-"

-"ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS~! GET READY TO BEGIN THE SECOND HALF~!"-

On hearing that grating voice that boomed over the beach, an irritated pout formed on Sanji's pale face. "Shitty castle perv..."

Zoro, on the other hand, couldn't have been more relieved. He quickly shot to his feet and walked briskly for the still opened doorway. He almost made it out unscathed when a hand firmly grabbed hold of his shoulder.

On looking back he saw a strange smile on the cook's lips. "What..?"

Sanji chuckled at the suspicion laced voice and took hold of the tan chin. "What kind of a prince would I be if I allowed my esteemed guest to leave without a parting gift...?"

Zoro didn't get a chance to question the strange statement when the space between them was gone. His eyes widened, but, the moment he opened his mouth to complain, another tongue decided to work its way in. "Mmrph!"

Ignoring the muffled cry, Sanji effectively stole the swordsman's breath away before pulling away abruptly. He gave a wide grin and licked the taste off his lips. "Mmm... Good luck in the second half, Marimo~!" he chirped before promptly shoving Zoro out of the castle...

And right into the moat.

"WAH!_!_" A loud splash followed Zoro's startled cry and silenced it.

As the water enveloped him, Zoro had to struggle for a moment to swim back to the surface of the ridiculous moat. The moment he broke through the surface, he threw back his head in a gasping cough. "I.. I'm gonna kill you, Shit cook!" He shot his angry stare towards the doorway only to see the wooden door closed back in place.

Growling out every curse he could think of, Zoro climbed back onto dry sand and shook off as much water as he could. As he stood, he heard a light tune being hummed behind him. On looking his eyes narrowed when he saw the blonde perched once more in the high backed chair atop the castle. "The moment the stupid contest is over, your ass is mine!" he growled out, his anger coming to a breaking point.

Sanji simply smirked as he smoothly put his sunglasses back on. "I didn't know you wanted it so badly, Marimo. You should have said something." He then gave a cheery wave before swinging his legs back on the left arm of the chair to resume his lounging pose from earlier.

Being dismissed in such a fashion pissed Zoro off to no end, but he wasn't about to give the bastard more words to twist around on him. So with a low growl he turned and headed back for his area.

He was so looking forward to venting his frustration on some poor contestant bastards.

'_Once this shit is over, Curlicue's gonna pay..'_

At least that's what he continued to tell himself.

_fjfjfjfjfjfjfj_

TBC

Tick. Tick. Boom.

Later~


	6. Cool off

It's funny when that vein in his forehead does that twitchy thing.

Enjoy~

_fjfjfjfjfjfjfj_

Chapter 6

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"Ahh! Someone stop him! He's crazy!"

"For the love of god! Have mercy!"

"Run!_!_"

"Monster! Monster!_!_"

"I'll show you a monster!"

Tearing his way across the beach, Zoro fought off the hapless idiots that had the misfortune of being in his way. Leaving Luffy and Chopper behind for the moment to defend their castle, Zoro was trying to cause as much damage within the time he had promised Luffy before returning to let his captain have a go. It had taken him a full ten minutes and some thrown together excuse about keeping Luffy as a secret weapon before the rubber man agreed with a frustrated pout. He had to work fast before Luffy's nonexistent patience ran out.

However things were going slower than he would have like. That was due to the fact that stupid castle freak wouldn't let him go back to the ship for his swords. The pink bastard actually had the nerve to stand in front of him and stare him down before spouting out another rule he had 'neglected to mention'. _'No outside items once the contest starts my ass... How the hell did that stupid curlicue get away with all that then?' _He asked himself over and over.

That's what pissed him off most. He hadn't SEEN the spastic blonde do anything. Just the notion that Sanji was able to accomplish such things right under his nose grated on his nerves like nothing else. He felt like he was being played by someone that knew the game better than he did.

He absolutely hated that feeling.

So taking out the competition bare handed provided a bit more of a challenge, which was what he needed at the moment. Anything to keep his mind off what had happened an hour ago.

Keep his mind off of that irritating blonde on his stupid throne.

Off the amazing food that had been hand fed to him.

Off the lips that stole his breath awa-

"Dammit!"

Zoro plowed straight into a castle and knocked it down in an explosion of sand. He tore it apart with his hands as vicious growls left him. Picturing a certain cook being torn to shreds. It was a poor substitute, but it had to do. At least until this stupid contest was over. The moment he was through with this contest he was going to beat that blonde bastard's ass into the ground.

'_I didn't know you wanted it so badly, Marimo.'_

"Shitty cook and his shitty words in my head!" he grunted as he gave one last kick to a pile of sand.

Once the castle was flattened his eyes shot to the next target area down the beach.

Two men circled a shoddy looking castle in a defensive posture.

They were going regret waking up today.

Watching the mass chaos ensuing further down the beach through the binoculars, Usopp was snickering like mad from his perch atop his castle's throne. "Ha! Zoro's gone bitch crazy out there! I think he's already destroyed 15 castles!" the sniper called out to the blonde outside the fort walls.

Stacking up the water balloons they had spent the past half hour making near the moat, Sanji glanced up from his task curiously. "Only 15? I would have guessed at least 20 by now."

"He's having trouble with a devil's fruit user. Looks like they can shoot out tar or something from their hands. It's slowing Zoro down." Usopp relayed while watching Zoro's attack actually being stopped by the black slime that was shot at him.

"Ah, then I guess we've finished just in time to lend a hand." Sanji chuckled as he picked up a heavy blue water balloon. He raised his right foot and placed the water balloon atop it carefully. Balancing it there. Once it was steady he looked back to his partner. "Point me, General!"

Adjusting the focus to the binoculars, Usopp made quick calculations in his head. "Let's see... 15 degrees to north... Power.. 30 percent... And... Fire!"

Sanji immediately kicked up with his right leg and launched the water balloon up into the air. He watched with a grin as the balloon flew towards its target. "Ha. Marimo better appreciate this."

Further down the beach, Zoro was muttering loud curses as he attempted to pull the nasty black gunk off of him. The portly man in front of him was rambling on about not being able to defeat him, but Zoro ignored the talking tar ball. He was more preoccupied on how he was going to get close enough to knock the bastard's head off.

It was hard to get a good footing on the shifting sand, making his attacks and speed unsteady. "I can't let this shit stop me..." he grunted to himself while pulling off more of the tar and looking for any opening he could exploit.

However he didn't get the chance when a sudden splash broke his train of thought. "The hell..?" Zoro jerked his attention back to the man he was facing only tilt his head in confusion. The guy was now dripping wet and seemed to sway a bit like he was about to faint.

"Gah! What the hell?_!_ Sea water?_!"_ The round man was desperately trying to scrub the water off of him as he shot his glaring gaze around to look for his sudden attacker. "Who the hell threw that?_!_ I'm gonna.. Gonna..." The tar man fell to his knees as the sea water drained his energy.

Zoro blinked when his opponent was suddenly a crumpled heap on the sand. He glanced around for what could have done it so quickly. He saw the ripped rubber bits of a blue balloon, but then his eyes soon caught sight of a wet piece of paper curled up on the sand by his foot. Picking it up, he flattened it out to see what was on it.

"All... Hail Prince Sanji..."

His eye twitching hard, Zoro shot his attention back down the beach where he could see the orange fort in the distance. There he picked out the Cook and the Sniper waving at him. "Assholes! I don't need your help!_!_" he immediately shouted as he threw the paper back down to the sand.

Even more anger and embarrassment now fueling his rampage, Zoro stiffly turned around and focused on knocking down the tar guy's castle.

He barely took two steps towards it when a shadow suddenly fell over him and the enemy castle. "The hell..." He glanced up only to balk at the objects that were falling from the sky. "SHIT!"

Jumping as far away as he could, Zoro skidded to a stop on the sand and looked back in time to watch the castle get bombarded by countless water balloons. Explosions of water and sand rained down for a few seconds. The force of the impact combined with the water reduced it down to nothing in an instant.

When the balloons stopped falling, the entire left side of Zoro's face was twitching at just how effective that was. He then shot a glare at the pair responsible. "I'm not gonna be bested by those two idiots!" he growled before charging off to the next castle.

Back at the fort, Usopp was cackling in an evil glee as he watched the swordsman charge out with a new conviction. "Hahaha! Zoro's so freakin pissed! He's gonna slaughter everyone!"

"He should be glad we provided such incentive." Sanji quipped with a wide grin as he placed another water balloon on his foot. "I think he needs to cool off a bit. Point me, General."

Snickering loudly, Usopp locked onto Zoro's position. "6 degrees south. Power... 45 percent.. And.. Fire!"

Sanji kicked his leg up once more to launch the balloon high over the contest area.

A few seconds later...

"I'M GONNA SKIN YOU ALIVE, SHIT COOK!"

The rest of the curses were drowned by a chorus of hysterical laughter.

_fjfjfjfjfjfjfj_

TBC

Twitch twitch. Twitch twitch.

Later~


	7. Perverts

We're getting closer to the end...

Enjoy~

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Chapter 7

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"Oi! Luffy!"

Looking up from where he was defending his castle, Luffy glanced back to see Sanji crossing the sands towards him. "Ah! Sanji! What's up? This is pretty fun, huh? Zoro said I'll be able to go out in another half hour! I'm gonna knock everything down! Haha!" he exclaimed excitedly.

Sanji chuckled at his captain's eagerness and stopped a few feet away. "I have no doubt. I came over to let you know I've got a surprise for you."

"Ooo! A surprise?_!_ Is it meat?_!_" Luffy chirped as he hopped from foot to foot.

A sly smirk curled Sanji's lips as he nodded. "It is, in fact."

"Yosh! Gimme gimme gimme!"

Swatting away the grabbing hands, Sanji chuckled and shook his head. "I don't have it on me. That's the surprise."

"Ooo! Mystery surprise! Tell meeee!" the captain pleaded.

Sanji's smirk grew as he gestured over his shoulder at the rest of the contest area. "Under one of the castles I buried a huge pirate bento just for you. You have to go on a treasure hunt to find it."

Luffy's eyes grew wide as a giddy grin pulled over his face. "Really?_!_ Where is it?_!_ Give me a hint!"

"It could be anywhere from here all the way over to area 1. But I'll give you another hint. The castle is at an even numbered team area." Sanji added with a sly wink.

"Yosh! So I only have to search at half of the areas! This is awesome!" Luffy cheered as he nearly pounced on Chopper. "Chopper! We get to go on a pirate bento treasure hunt!"

"Really!_?_ Yay!_!_" Chopper cheered happily.

Sanji's expression turned evil before he slowly backed away from the eager pair. "Too easy..." he mused on a low chuckle.

Another step in his master plan accomplished.

"Way too easy.."

_fjfjfj_

"Ah.. Sanji-kun?"

Glancing up from where he was filling more water balloons, Sanji quirked up a brow when he saw Usopp staring out over the beach with a perplexed frown. "Yes?"

The sniper looked to the cook and pointed out to the rest of the contest area. "Why is Luffy digging under the castles that Zoro's already knocked down...?"

Sanji gave a wicked grin. "Oh that? I told him I buried a shit load of food under an even numbered castle."

Usopp blinked and looked back to his partner. "Did you..?"

The blonde head nodded. "I did."

"Oh.. Well which Castle?"

"Castle 58."

"Ah..." Usopp paused for a moment. "Wait..."

Sanji smirked. "Yeah..?"

The sniper looked to the armbands he and Sanji were wearing. "We're 59... The girls are 60 so that means..." His gaze shot down the beach to a certain swordsman sitting on the sand in front of his castle looking very bored.

On Zoro's arm band was the number 58.

The moment he realized this his jaw dropped and his gaze shot to Sanji. "You.. You buried it under their own castle...? When..?_!_"

The cook pulled out a cigarette from his shirt pocket and grinned. "When no one was looking." he teased before lighting up.

Usopp stared blankly at the blonde for a long moment before he gave a chuckling sigh. "Damn... Zoro is so gonna kill you."

Sanji hummed thoughtfully as he stacked some more water balloons. "At least I'll die laughing."

"You're so twisted."

"And ya love me~!"

"Get away from me, freak!"

"That's no way to talk to your prince! Do I detect dissent?_!_"

"Wha? No! Wait! Gah! Sanji! Stop! I'm on your side, remember!"

Zoro lifted his head on hearing the yelps from the sniper and glanced in the direction of the orange castle. There he saw Sanji chasing Usopp and cackling with laughter as he chucked water balloons at Usopp around their moat. He quirked up a brow at the strange behavior, but was soon snorting in annoyance.

"Was only a matter of time before that psycho turned on his own teammate." he muttered before bowing his head once more. It was taking all of his discipline not to throttle the irritating blonde. He was fairly certain he was one more incident away from completely losing it.

He was also fairly certain it would happen soon.

"He's plotting something... I know it..."

"It wouldn't be as much fun if he wasn't."

His eyes snapping open, Zoro lifted his head again to see Robin standing in front of him. "Eh..? What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be protecting your castle?" he asked blandly.

The woman smiled and gave a little shrug. "There's not much point between you, Captain-san, and Cook-san. Most of the competition is already obliterated. I just came by to see how things were." She glanced back to the orange fort and saw both Sanji and Usopp were now throwing water balloons at one another and laughing up a storm. "They certainly seem to be enjoying themselves."

"That's because they're idiots." Zoro muttered in annoyance. However his eyes lingered on the way Sanji's white shirt clung to his skin from where he had been hit by a few of the balloons. His blonde hair was sticking to the side of his face, and that bright smile that always seemed so dazzling...

"Damn annoying shitty curlicue.." Zoro growled through his teeth before stiffly turned his head to focus on Robin's feet.

They were okay as feet.

Yes. Adequate feet.

Nothing blonde or casually sexy about Robin's feet...

'_Dammit!'_

"Swordsman-san..?" Robin blinked and leaned over a bit to try and catch Zoro's gaze. "You've gone rather red.. Have you stayed out in the sun too long..? Should I get Doctor-san?"

"No! No.. I'm fine.. Thanks.." Zoro coughed and looked the other way. _'What the hell has he done to me..?'_

The raven head tilted slightly, but Robin soon shrugged carelessly. "As you wish. Good luck, Swordsman-san." she called out before wandering back towards the orange fort.

Zoro watched her feet go, but didn't lift his head. He was too concerned he would catch another glimpse of blonde. What did any of this mean? Why was he so hung up on this? Why would the cook suddenly target him so randomly? Why was he starting to like it...?

"Okay.. That.. That didn't go through my head.. No.. Just.. No." he stated to himself as firmly as he could.

He also tried to ignore the fact he didn't sound very convincing.

"Heeeey Marimooo-chaaan~!"

Zoro's teeth clenched on hearing that singsong voice. _'Don't look up...'_

"Oi! I'm talking to you, Shit head!"

'_Don't look up...'_

"You're asking for it, Moss brain!"

"Sanji! Don't do it!"

'_Don't. Look. U-!_!_'_

In the midst of his mantra, Zoro was suddenly struck right in the face by a heavy water balloon. The explosion of water completely soaking him on impact.

"Grrraah! You bastard, I'm gonna kill you!_!_" Zoro snarled as he shot to his feet and immediately charged for the blonde still laughing at him.

Usopp's eyes grew wide on seeing the swordsman headed towards them. "Sanji! Look out!"

"Eh..?" Sanji looked up from his side splitting laughter only to balk when he saw the Marimo charging full force at him. "Oh shit!" Sanji tried to turn and run, but a hand fisted in the back of his shirt. The sudden jerk threw Sanji of balance, so he automatically shot his hands out to grab a hold of what he could.

Zoro hadn't expected the hands that latched onto him, but his own forward momentum combined with Sanji's suddenly fall had him losing his balance as well.

"Gyaah!"

Sanji's yelp was immediately followed by a loud splash as both he and Zoro toppled into the moat.

Usopp stared with wide eyes with his hands covering his mouth. "Oh my god oh my god.. They'll drown each other! I can't look!" he squeaked before slapping his hands over his eyes...

Only for him to peek through the cracks between his fingers at the bubbles that were rising to the surface of the water.

The muffling water that surrounded them was a bit disorienting. It was a few seconds of struggling before either of them knew which way was up. Sanji was the first one to open his eyes. The soft sting of the saltwater was the first thing he noticed. The second was the angry glare that was fixed on him from the swordsman floating in the water close to him. He couldn't stop the grin that formed on his face, but was soon ducking when a fist came at him.

Zoro had to suppress the growl that wanted to leave him when he felt the water slowing his movements. He knew Sanji was faster than him under water, which only irritated him further.

However his mind went blank when he felt a pair of hands grabbing on to the waistband of his shorts and a firm pull tugging him to the bottom of the moat. He struggled against the hold on him, but that damn blonde was slippery as an eel under water.

A thought then struck him. What if...

'_Eh.. What the hell...'_

Zoro suddenly shifted in Sanji's grasp. He took a firm hold of the pale face and crushed their lips together.

Sanji's eyes grew wide at the kiss that came out of no where. He nearly lost his hold on the swordsman, but after a moment he smirked against Zoro's lips. He shifted them both in the water until he had Zoro's back pressed against the wall of the moat. There he pinned the broader body tight as he worked that mouth for everything it was worth.

To Zoro's own surprise, he responded to the kiss. The feel of their mingling limited air was a rush that made him slightly dizzy. He knew they wouldn't be able to stay much longer, or at least he wouldn't. He had seen Sanji stay under water for an ungodly amount of time. _'I refuse to be bested my this idiot!'_ his mind snarled out.

Sanji would have been purring if he had the extra air, but he was startled when an abrupt jerk had him slamming against the moat wall. A few bubbles of his much needed air escaped his lips, but Sanji was left frozen on the predatory gleam in Zoro's eyes._ 'Eee... He's gonna kill me... Or eat me... Ooo... Eat me..' _

That idea had Sanji grinning once more as his hands made their way to grab the swordsman's firm ass. With a firm pull he made their hips collide, causing some bubbles to slip past Zoro's lips. Which Sanji watched with a sick satisfaction as they floated upwards.

Unable to stop the growl that rumbled in his chest, Zoro reached back and grabbed a tight hold on Sanji's wrists. He jerked them away from his ass and roughly pinned them to the sand wall. With Sanji pinned, Zoro took a look at the source of his torment.

Blonde hair and white shirt floating weightlessly up in the water around him...

The rippling lights that filtered down to cast shifting patterns on the lean pale body...

And that damn smirk on his face...

Zoro found a slight smirk twitching onto his own lips.

'_Heh... why not..'_

Up on dry sand, Usopp was carefully inching his way to the edge of the moat. "Eeee.. Why haven't they come up yet...?" he whimpered as he watched the bubbles slowly rolling up to the surface of the water. Gruesome thoughts of blood murky water and a sudden body floating to the top had him shivering.

Suddenly the bubbles stopped, causing Usopp to panic further. "Omygod omygod omygod! They drowned each other! I knew this would happen! I tried to warn Sanji!" he squeaked out as his knees began to quiver.

All of a sudden a large amount of bubbles exploded to the surface along with the faint sound of someone crying out muffled greatly by the water. Growing pale, Usopp covered his mouth with his hand and held his own breath as he waited.

A few seconds later a green head popped out of the water followed by harsh gasps.

As Zoro caught his breath, Usopp nearly fell over in relief. "Damn! I thought you two killed each other down... There..." Usopp looked around the water nervously. "Um.. Where's Sanji...?"

A wicked smirk curled Zoro's lips as he moved to climb out of the moat. "Collecting himself." he answered simply once he was standing.

Usopp blinked in confusion but his worries were put to rest when a blonde head finally breached the water. "Sanji!"

Gasping raggedly, Sanji clung desperately to the edge of the moat as he struggled to breathe. His faced was heavily flushed and he seemed to be trembling, but there was a tired, and possibly sated, smile on his lips. "Damn... Remind me to go swimming with you more often, Marimo..." he called out on a breathless chuckle, water streaming from his wet hair plastered to his face.

A snort of amusement left Zoro as he turned to head back to his castle. "Don't press your luck, Ero-cook."

"Why not? Seems to be workin for me so far~!" Sanji cooed out with a laugh.

When Zoro only let out a quiet chuckle, Usopp looked in bewilderment between the cook and the swordsman. "Um.. Sanji..?"

The blonde glanced up from where he was still clinging to the moat's edge. "Yeah?"

"What happened down there...?"

A wide shit eating grin was instantly on Sanji's face. "What happens in the moat, stays in the moat."

Usopp's eye twitched hard. "... Perverts..."

Meanwhile...

Further down the beach...

"Wah! Robin! Your nose is bleeding!"

_fjfjfjfjfjfj_

TBC

Yaaay for perverts~!

Later~


End file.
